Sunday, 16 September 2012

The two week wait

28 August 2012 - Day 1 PO
My cycle is still settling down after coming off the pill so today is either ovulating day or Day 1 Post Ovulation (PO). I’m going to take an average of the cycle length I’ve had so far and declare today as Day 1 PO.

After I got ridiculously excited last time and tested, I’m trying to be more sensible this time. I’ve made a deal with myself. My period is due on 11th September. If it hasn’t come by the 14th September I’ll test. So while I know it’s more than the normal 14 days, I figure pregnancy tests are expensive and I shouldn’t waste them! I only have 18 days to go. I’m not convinced I can wait that long but I’ll try.

29 August 2012 – Day 2 PO
I’m feeling pretty positive. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’ve had a premonition, but I do believe that we did the best we could this time around. We were relaxed, we laughed and we didn’t take it too seriously. We even found a far more comfortable sex position which has made the process so much more enjoyable. So overall, I’m feeling pretty hopeful.

30 August 2012 – Day 3 PO
I went to yoga tonight and at the start of the session we’re asked to set an intention for our practice. Mine is to create a welcoming home for my baby. As I do the session, I consciously think about having a baby tucked up in there. I think about how the movements I’m doing will help create a loving and peaceful environment. I think about how to nurture my body. I finish the session in a deep state of relaxation and nearly fall asleep!

31 August 2012 – Day 4 PO
I leave work early today. I’m going to help a friend unpack as she had to move into a new place after her husband became violent. It has been a really terrible situation and I think of her bravery every time I verge on going over the “boo hoo, poor me, I’m not pregnant yet” cliff. I think about her often to help keep  the events of my life in perspective.

1 September 2012 – Day 5 PO
I went to help my friend and one of our jobs was to go through her boxes of baby clothes. We sort out what can be sold and what can be donated. She tells me to take whatever I like. So I come home with a baby bath full of muslins, bibs, socks, jackets, sleeping bags, singlets , jeans and rattles. I show my husband each item and he just smiles. As I put them away into the draws, I say a silent prayer that there will be an occasion to use them.

2 September 2012 – Day 6 PO
Today is a busy day running around doing everything I didn’t get a chance to do yesterday.  I feel pretty good, although a little bit tiered. I sit down to read Practical Parenting magazine and I come across an article that explains all the gross things that can happen to you when you’re pregnant. It prompts me to write about it on my blog. I go to bed feeling like there’s a slight twinge in my breast – I try not to get too excited.

3 September 2012 – Day 7 PO
I feel tiered today and my appetite is crazy - I’m constantly hungry! I’m not sure if it’s a result of being bored at work. There isn’t much happening as we all wait to hear if we have jobs or not. I’ve still got a slight twinge in my breast and a creamy cervical mucous (cm). I think that’s a bit strange and wonder if it’s too soon to see symptoms.

I’ve also decided that I need to reduce my coffee intake. I normally have two cups a day so I’m no where near a crazy coffee consumer. But the more I read about coffee impacting your fertility, the more I think I should cut down. Mind you, I’m not prepared to give it up. I’ve already given up alcohol and, if I’m going to have to cut out soft cheese and smoked salmon when I ‘m pregnant, I’m not about to abandon coffee. My new mantra is to try and have half a cup in the morning and another half in the afternoon. It’s tricky to make myself put the cup down when I’m half way through but I manage it.

4 September 2012 – Day 8 PO
My appetite is crazy again today. I’m still bored but this is different as I need to have my lunch at 10:30am. This is about 1.5 hours earlier than normal. But I wolf it down and it seems to hit the spot for a while.

I still have some dull pain in my breast and my cm is still hanging around. I Google pregnancy signs and get a little excited to see that the increase in cm is one of them. But I try to keep calm. We still have a long way to go!

5 September 2012 – Day 9 PO
I feel like I’m going in slow motion today. It normally takes me 1 hour to get ready but today it was 1.25hours. On the way to work, everything became uncomfortable. My bra was sticking into me. There was a join on my shirt sleeve that was rubbing me and I kept moving between being hot and cold. Now as I write this I have an itchy back! It all seems very weird.

I check my Facebook and read my niece’s status – she’s currently 6 months pregnant. She says she is watching tv while the baby is listening to Mozart through the headphones. I think that’s a great idea.

I’m thinking of the classical music that’s on my Ipod that I can play to the baby. I’ve been doing a lot of reading that says it’s good for babies to hear sounds once they are born that they heard in the womb. I’m also thinking I have some meditations I might play too. I might be able to soothe the little soul into submission when they’re causing me grief!  I’ll start their love of music with some Vivaldi and maybe a few classics like Van Morrison and U2. There will not be ANY One Direction going on!

I’m having some strange pains on the left-hand side of my stomach. It’s not stabbing pains – more like rolling pains. I’m due to go to the chiropractor tomorrow so I don’t know if they’re back-related or not. It’s actually more likely to be caused from my stockings being too tight! 

6 September 2012 – Day 10 PO
I’m officially over half way into my wait and on the down hill stretch. Given my periods are due in 5 days, I could technically test at this point. But I continue to resist the temptation.
We are still in a holding pattern at work so I get onto Google and check out some maternity wear shops. I’m amazed at how expensive the clothes are. There really is a captive market given you only wear them for such a short time. It furthers my resolve to do my maternity shopping at the thrift shops, Ebay and Target!

7 September 2012 – Day 11 PO
I had a conversation with my husband today about who we would tell as soon as I’m pregnant. I don’t know if I’m being over cautious or realistic, but I said to him I only want to tell people I would need to be there for me if I something happens. He agreed with me and the list is now set in stone. I’m not sure when we’ll need to activate it but at least it’s good to go for when we do.

8 September 2012 – Day 12 PO
I’ve felt bloated and crampy for most of the day. It feels exactly the same as when my periods come so it looks like I’m not pregnant. However, tonight I start to pee and I can’t stop. I’m confused at these different signs. I don’t normally get urinary tract infections but this feels like one. I know the constant peeing is a sign of early pregnancy but the cramps are persisting too. I figure it’s my periods and stop worrying about.

9 September 2012 – Day 13 PO
The peeing seems to have settled down today but the bloating continues. I jump onto Google and discover the bloating and cramping is a sign of early pregnancy and is normally misinterpreted as a period. My heart stops a beat for a second. In that moment, I do believe I am pregnant. There’s just something that feels different but I tell myself to calm down. I get up and start cooking dinner so I can take my mind off it. I also realise I am self-diagnosing from the internet but who doesn’t?

10 September 2012 – Day 14 PO
I succumb to temptation and take a pregnancy test. I leave the test on the bench as I get in the shower so I don’t have to stare at it for 3 minutes waiting to see what it says. I get out, pick it up and see one strong pink line. I look to the left and see a faint, but definitely there second line.
I gasp and pick up the directions. It says two lines means positive and the lines don’t have to be the same. It looks positive.

My husband comes in and I hand it to him. He looks at it and says “One and a half lines. What does that mean?” I say “No, it’s two lines.” He says “Lets not get too excited.” I’m already in tears.

He gets in the shower and I try to go about my normal routine which is very difficult given the test results. My brain is in over-drive about what I do about it. In the 5 minutes my husband is in the shower, I decide I’ll go to the doctors today. I’ve read other stories about women taking two, three, four tests but I figure it’s just simpler to go and find out one way or the other.

My husband gets out of the shower and says “You know how I said not to get excited? Well I’m already excited.” I just hugged him and said “Whatever happens it will be ok.” We embrace both wondering if this is the day that will change our lives forever.

I call the doctor but I can’t get in until 1:30 pm. It will be a long wait until then but I’m glad I can at least get in today. I sit at work, have conversations with people and engage in discussion. But all I can think about is the pregnancy test, wrapped in plastic bag, sitting in my hand bag with two lines on it. I keep checking to make sure the two lines are still there. At last check they are and the faint one has become much stronger. We now have two pink lines! I’ve got butterflies in my stomach!

I go to the doctor who sends me off for a blood test. He tells me he should have the results back by 2pm tomorrow. The nurse looks at the test request and asks “Are you pregnant?” I reply “I’m not sure, that’s what we’re testing for.” We then start a conversation about this being my first potential pregnancy and how she loved being a mother and having her “babies”. I told her the story about my husband saying not to get excited, and then being excited. She said it gave her goosebumps!

I asked her what time the results would be back and she said she would put a rush on them to get them to the doctor by midday tomorrow. I walked out, with a bandaged arm, thinking this would be the longest 24 hours of my life. I went home and couldn’t help myself – I did another test. And there, again, were two pink lines! I smiled.

11 September 2012 – Day 15 PO
I came into work this morning thinking how long it would be until 2pm. I was wishing the day away until I received a meeting invite for 2:15pm to 3pm. It was an important meeting to find out about what was happening with my job. I was mad - didn’t these people know I had an important call to make?  In that moment, I really wasn’t focussed on my job.

I called the doctor’s office and asked if there was another time I could call. They said call after your meeting and hopefully the doctor would be able to speak to you. I thanked them and hung up with a hhmmph! Impatience was getting the better of me so I called at 12:45pm to see if the results were in – they weren’t!

My husband and I had agreed that we would drive to the coast tonight to tell my parents if the test turns out positive. Needless to say, I went into this very important meeting with a lot of things on my mind!

I got out of the meeting and ran to the other side of the building to call the doctor. After a long wait I was finally put through to him. The result was positive – a baby is on the way! (Friends, please keep this to yourself).

Part of me was in shock, part of me was excited and part of me just wanted to run away.  I texted my husband to let him know and he was stunned too. Suddenly things became real – but in a surreal kind of way!

I called the obstetrician immediately to book in a scan.  I had already decided where I was going to go and who I wanted as I knew some doctors had long waiting lists. I was desperate to get to my first scan to see the little heartbeat to know someone was definitely in there. The test is booked for 2 weeks time when I’ll be 6 weeks pregnant.

We drove to the Coast to tell my parents and they knew something was up that minute we walked in. My Mum had some tears and my Dad was in stunned silence. My little brother was beside himself jumping up and down and my older brother was his reserved self.  I told my Mum I would tell one of my aunts so she had someone to talk to about it but everyone else was sworn to secrecy. This was particularly hard for my parents who were so keen to tell their Mother’s but given their frail state and age, I didn’t want to risk their reaction if something happens.

My final call was to my best friend to share the news with her. She’s also trying to fall pregnant at the moment and I hoped the news would buoy her in her attempts. She was so happy for us and I was able to provide her with some extra trips on the process that would hopefully help.
We drove home and fell into bed exhausted, happy, slightly scared and hopeful that everything will be ok.  

12 September 2012 – 4 weeks 1 day pregnant
The nausea started today. Everything now seems official. Here we go – stay tuned!

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