Weight – 71.2kg
I started this week by looking at child care centres. It
seemed so strange to be looking at a child care place for my child in April
2014, but that’s the reality of the lack of spaces at the moment. I looked
around at the other children, facilities and teachers and scanned their every
move and interaction. Having worked in child care for 8 years in a previous
life, I was probably more on the ball than most. This, coupled with the fact I
took my Mother who was a primary school principal for over 10 years, meant we
had everything sussed out.
It was hard to determine what a good centre would be. I
couldn’t base my decision on the staff as they probably won’t be there come
April 2014. I could really on go with my gut feel and the fact that food and
nappies are provided. They were some excellent tips from friends with kids!
Other than that, the first half of week 6 went ok. I caught
up with a friend who had a baby 6 weeks ago. I was shocked to hear she had no
real symptoms throughout her pregnancy – no nausea! It made me realise that the
only thing that is consistent about the pregnancy experience is it is totally
inconsistent! Not only is it inconsistent between woman to woman, but also
within yourself. I started reading some website forums and all the women say the
same thing – I was feeling sick now I’m not. I had sore boobs now I don’t. I
was feeling exhausted now I’m not. And all of this can be within the space of a
few days. I expected that I would have some symptom and feel them
every day. But no, it comes and goes. Clearly it’s dependent on what I’m doing
during the day so funnily enough, when I spend the day lying on the couch, I
don’t feel so bad. For the days when I have to come into work early, I feel
crappy until about 12pm then it comes back in the afternoon.
While it’s nice to know that other women are experiencing
the same thing, it’s sad to also know that we all experience such anxiety about
it as a result. We worry over every little twinge, twitch, pain, ache, gush, or
stab. Everything is new. Everything is weird. And everything has the potential
to spell disaster. But I’m trying to put all of that to the side of my mind as
this week also brings my first obstetrician appointment. I am so desperately
hoping we get to have a scan and see a heartbeat. I’m not afraid to use my
hospital experience to my advantage and tell them we should do one just to make
sure everything is ok. Surely something positive should come out of the
experience! But, I must admit I am feeling nervous about it. I’ve already booked
in my 13 week scan without having gone to this one. But, I’m telling myself I’m
now over half way to the magic 13 mark where, hopefully, that scan will go
swimmingly well and we’ll finally be able to share the news with the wider
world. But, we’ll get through this scan
first!
The night before my appointment I burst into tears. I think
it was a mix of emotions and all the bad stories I had read of women going to
scans and finding out their babies had died. I just couldn’t imagine anything
worse. My husband, in all his wisdom, told me there was no possible way we
could prepare ourselves for that if it happened. So worrying about it was
pointless. He also told me that I need to listen to him and put my Ipad down!
He was right!
As is often the case, worrying was futile as I didn’t have a
scan. I have to wait until I’m in my 7th week so the midwife gave me
a referral to have one next week. It means more waiting but I’m happy to wait
if it means there is more of a chance of seeing the heart beat.
We discussed my medical problems – including my back
problems, tilted pelvis and vulvadynia. Given all of that, she told me it was
likely I would need a caesarean. She said we will see how the pregnancy
progresses, but to prepare myself for the likelihood. I had already thought
that so it didn’t come as a shock. I told her I didn’t care how the baby came
out – just as long as it was safe and healthy. I also told her I’m not one of
these women who think they are less of a mother if they can’t have a vaginal
birth. How you bring them into the world does not dictate the type of mother
you will be. It’s what you do with them, and to them, that dictates the type of
mother you are.
Other than that, I need to stop eating BBQ chicken, eat more
red meat and take calcium tablets. I was concerned my calcium was down and she
said the OB likes women to have 4 to 5 serves which I know I would be no where
near. So off for some calcium tablets I go!
She told me I need to be careful about lysteria because even
though it is rare, it happens. She told me a story of a woman who came up to
her at a party and told her her child had died at 16 weeks from lysteria. They
confirmed that was the cause of death and the only thing they could contribute
it to was some pate she ate on a beef wellington at a friends house. This woman
hadn’t told her friends she was pregnant so mental note – don’t eat dinner at
anyone’s house who doesn’t know you’re pregnant!
It was timely advice as I got back into the car and realised
I had left my lunch in the car. It had been an hour so my yoghurt and meat pie
and mash had been warming up in that time. It was only 9am so it wasn’t too hot
but the story stuck – it wasn’t worth the risk. So on the way to work I had to
buy a frozen meal to have for lunch instead as I couldn’t think of any quick
food I could get for lunch that would be ok to eat. It was a fairly depressing
meal so looks like I’ll be doing some cooking on the weekend!
The last words for this week go to my remarkably insightful
aunt. When I told her about my mini-meltdown and cry fest, she said “It amazes
me that women are prepared to give up alcohol, smoking, coffee and cheese for
the sake of their baby, but they’re not prepared to give up stress.” It was
like a shovel between my eyes. She was right. The stress was not doing me, my
husband or Peanut any good. It was time for me to start thinking about my
family and what was best for all of us. I got into bed and told my husband I
wouldn’t be looking at any more websites or reading any more books. I told him
he was right and, on this occasion, I would listen to him. I then hugged him
and thought wow, this is now a family group hug!
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