Wednesday, 8 August 2012

A peaceful thought

As I walked home from work yesterday, an interesting thought suddenly popped into my head - life will be ok, and I will be ok if I don't have a baby.

It was such a calming and peaceful thought it bought a smile to my face. I had been contemplating my life for the whole day after hearing a friend's brother-in-law had passed away from a heart attack at just 29 years old.

It made me realise the fragility of life and how we waste so many of the precious few minutes we have on this world. We spend so much of our time in bitterness, anger, worry and sadness. We spend so much time in the past, and worrying about the future, that it leaves very little of us to be in the present.

What I realised is how very lucky I was to meet my husband. And if I get to spend the rest of my life cuddling him, laughing at his jokes and holding his hand, I'll be a very lucky woman. If there is no baby in between us, holding our hands, I'll still be a very lucky woman.

Instead of focusing so much on the things I don't have, and worrying about whether I will have them or not, I find it a much more peaceful thought to focus on the things I do have. Instead of living in the future, I will live in the now. I decided that when my stress or anxiety rears its head, I need to remember that life, in this moment, is perfect.

I know it sounds guru swarmi, or "hippy and new-age" as my husband would say, but I've made the decision to constantly ask myself if what I am doing, in the moment, makes my heart sing. If it doesn't, I need to change what I am doing.

I'm hoping, that by repeating this to myself, I can calm myself, and my body down, so I can create the kind of loving and peaceful environment a baby would like to live. Either way, I am at least creating an environment in which I would like to live so it's win win all round!

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