Monday, 15 December 2014

To baby or not to baby?

I caught up with some friends yesterday and the conversation came around to having another baby or not. The three of us shared our thoughts and it was reassuring I'm not the only one who's leaning towards not.

One of my friends has one baby and the other has two. The two of us with one child both have serious doubts over wanting another and our other friend shared the challenges having a second child brings.

She made such an interesting point I had never heard before. She said when her and her husband decided to have another child, they thought it was just another child and wouldn't be so difficult because they already had one. They thought it would just be double what they had already. They didn't realise that a second child actually creates two new children - the child themselves, and the new entity of the sibling relationship. Having a second child is not like having another single child because neither of them are single anymore.

I find managing one baby, a marriage, a family and a new business to be challenging enough. That will be tested in a few short weeks when I return to work. Do I really want to add something else to the list? I don't think I do. 

I think it's a parent's responsibility to realistic measure their capabilities. I don't underestimate my ability to manage two children, I just question my ability to do it while juggling everything else. I know plenty of other people do it and that's their choice. Just as deciding not to have another child is my choice. 

I'm so in love with my daughter and thankful to have her. My husband adores her and the three of us make a beautiful family. I want to give her everything I have in terms of energy, emotions, finances and love. That would be difficult with another child. So, I'm slowly accepting that another one is probably not on the cards. I think it's difficult to accept because I always wanted two but that's before the baby journey became what it was.

So, I'm preparing myself for final acceptance. I'm giving away baby clothes, selling baby items and letting go of things I've held onto "just in case." I do it with a tone heart that wishes I was younger, had more energy or had more money. I wish I was braver to run the risk of something going wrong again and knowing I would be ok. I simply just don't want to expose myself to that happening. 

Luckily, I'm blessed with so many fabulous family and friends that I know if something happened to us, Sticky would be supported and loved. And she doesn't need a brother or sister to be ok. She will have people lining up to hold her hand and that's really all that matters. 

No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...