Happy fabulous Friday all! What’s fabulous about today is perspective.
I’ve been particularly glad of this new train of thought
since setting up my new business. It’s tough going being a solo operator, even more
so when you’re in a business where you are judged on your looks. Like most
people, I’ve always been pretty self-deprecating when it comes to that, always thinking I’m
not good enough. It was actually having Sticky that finally gave me the courage
to even try this because I wanted to teach her that you go for your dreams no
matter how difficult they seem to attain.
I’ve suffered a lot of inner turmoil since putting myself
out there to be judged. I fell into the trap of worrying about what others
thought of me, especially my peers. I obsessed over every aspect of my
business, and what they would think of it, instead of just having the courage
to stand on my own two feet. I let their thoughts and feelings about things
dictate how I operated, instead of operating by my own heart.
Things came to a head this week when I attended our
celebrant Christmas party. As I sat there talking to people, and hearing about
their stories and how many bookings they had for next year, I retreated into
silence, overwhelmed by the enormous sense of inadequacy I felt. I berated
myself for not being as good, popular, organised or successful as they were.
The fact that they had been doing it for longer than me, had more experience
than me and advertised in different ways to me should have squashed my
feelings, but it didn’t.
It wasn’t until I was lying in bed afterwards, thinking what
would I say if Sticky came and told me she was experiencing all of this, that I
realised how foolish I was being. The simple fact is, Sticky will come to me in
a few short years, when she starts school, and she’ll tell me the exact same
thing. That she’s struggling trying to learn and achieve something that she
really wants to. She’s scared of making a fool of herself in front of her
friends. She’s scared they won’t like her or acknowledge her. She’s scared to
just stand up and be herself because she’s comparing herself to everyone else.
And what will I say to her when she says this to me? I’ll
say I know sweetheart, learning new things is really hard. And, it’s even
harder when it’s something you’re really passionate about because you want to
achieve it even more. But, when you are learning really hard and new things,
you are going to make mistakes and that’s ok. That’s how you learn but the
important thing is to try and make the same mistake only once.
It’s natural to compare yourself to how others are doing but
it’s not a good idea. Everyone will travel their own path, at their own pace,
and if you spend your time looking at how everyone else is doing, you’re not
paying enough attention to how you are doing. Other people will achieve things
faster than you, and others will achieve things slower than you. But, you have
to have faith in what you’re doing and your own abilities. Don’t let your fear
of what others think of you stop you from being who you truly are. Be brave
enough to stand up for yourself and have the courage to do things your way.
Look at others and learn, but don’t copy them because being authentic is the
best thing you can be.
It reminds me of a Dr Seuss quote I use in my naming
ceremonies – “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive
who is youer than you.”
Once I realised all of this, I was able to let my negativity
go. And the outcome? Well, I booked two weddings this week at my new higher
price – my most successful week so far! I think I achieved it because I finally
believed in myself. I had faith in what I was doing, what I could offer, the
outcome I could achieve and the price I was charging to do it. So I’ll also
tell Sticky that the greatest lesson I’ve learnt in moments where negative
thoughts seem to take over, is that negativity gets you no where but positivity
can make all the difference in the world!
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