Sunday, 13 May 2012

Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day. My husband, bless his heart, said to me this could be your last non-Mother's Day. That made me bolt right up. The prospect that come this day, in 12 months time, we could have a baby, was a surreal thought, but one that bought a smile to my face.

We spent the day celebrating with my mother and grandmother. As I watched them open their gifts, I thought come this time next year, you could be a grandmother and a great-grandmother. How delighted they would be!

It's interesting though, for some reason, this Mother's Day, more than any other, really made me think about my Mother. Probably because we have spent so much time together in the past few months organising my wedding, but also because as I approach motherhood, it makes you think of your own Mother.

She did it tough my Mum. Three kids by the time she was 25. My parents didn't have a lot of money and both worked two and three jobs to put food on the table and shoes on the feet. Mum studied while we were young and Dad would take us on road trips to get us out of the house so she could do her assignments. It was quality time with my Dad, who at one stage, was living in Melbourne, and we only got to see him on weekends.

While we didn't have a lot, and certainly nothing fancy, we had love, laughter, hugs and kisses. There was no pretending, no having to buy love, no fake emotions. So many of the girls I went to high school with must have suffered this fake childhood and this made them fake people. And at the 10 year reunion, they were fake adults. I always thank my parents for grounding me and making me real.

So this year, I paid particular attention to what I gave my Mother - tulips and a book. Doesn't sound like anything too spectacular but I knew she would love both and she did.

The other thing I thought about today was how many of my friends were struggling with the fact they weren't mothers when they so desperately wanted to be. Today would be the one day of the year where that was rammed home to them more than any other.

As I read everyone's posts on Facebook about how thankful they were for their lovely gifts and lovely children, I thought I would contribute something out there to everyone else. I posted "Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers, those trying to be mothers and those wanting to be mothers. Our time will come". My husband told me if I didn't want people asking me if I was pregnant yet that wasn't a good way to go about it. But not being a woman, I don't think he understood the message.

The message was really one of hope. If you're trying, keep trying. If you want it, keep wanting it. If you are one, be grateful and celebrate. If anyone sees that message and starts asking me if I'm pregnant yet, I'll eat my hat! I don't think they'll start asking me that until I stop drinking wine - that will be the dead give away!

I haven't made any secret of the fact we want kids. When people ask when we will start trying I always say towards the end of the year and that's always been the plan. Somehow, going under the radar, and if the fates allow, we get pregnant in the next few months, than I might avoid being asked all together. If not, I'll deal with the barrage of questions when they happen.

Either way, I felt blessed today that I got to spend a fabulous day with my Mother and my 87 year old grandmother. God knows there won't be many more days I get to spend with her so as you get older, you realise that every day you get to spend with the people you love is a blessing. I just hope my child feels the same! 

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