Sunday, 20 May 2012

A wakeup call

I had morning tea with my fabulous friends Stacey and Leanne today. I asked for a catch up as not only are they good friends I hadn't seen for a while, but both had babies in their late 30s. They were exactly the people I needed to talk to!

We met 5 years ago working together. It was an often stressful and manic work environment and we supported each other by lending a helping hand and keeping each other laughing. At the time, I never imagined having conversations about babies with them, but I thank god I have them in my life to support me through this.

Both of them told me that they feel pregnant on their first go. That was it, that simple. Stacey told me alot of her friends are in their late 30s and early 40s and many of them are having babies. Suddenly I realised I was making this so hard for myself. The fear of potentially not falling pregnant was causing the anxiety and there was nothing to fear. Nothing but something that may or may not happen. And certainly not something that warranted concern now. I'm not sure why we get ourselves worked up by things that may or may not happen. What happened to crossing that bridge when you get to it?

It was the wake up call that I needed. There was something in their voices that suggested why are you getting worked up about this? It wasn't a case of them taking it lightly, it was simply their perspective. Given they've got friends having children at an older age than me, they saw it as I still have plenty of time - but no time to waste.

A weight was lifted off my shoulder and I felt the concern, worry and anxiety slowly slip away. I was so glad as I feared it would do me more detriment than good. I once had a counselor tell me I worried and about worrying and it seemed I had fallen into old patterns. But a good shot of reality and a different perspective produced a much needed mind shift! 

I was glad I could bring something to the occasion too - other than the banana and choc chip muffins. Both of the girls are starting to look at getting back to work after a few years off. I could understand the difficulty that comes with that and the fear of being out of the game for a while. So as someone who's learned career counseling and recruitment in the past year, I was more than happy to lend my services to help them get back in the game.

That's the beauty of great friendships, the ying and yang, give and take and once again the mutual support. There's nothing more precious in life than sitting with good friends, being able to talk openly and know you are being listened to. While we haven't worked worked together for 3 years, we're still supporting and encouraging each other, and making each other laugh. There's nothing better than coming away from a few hours with good friends and feeling energised, happy and optimistic.

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