Friday, 16 November 2012

Getting back to business

I know I’ve been a little post-happy this week – it’s just been one of those weeks! And while my last few posts have been about the emotional struggle, I now want to focus on the physical one – and getting back to the business of making a baby.
Well, it’s been frustrating to say the least. It’s been nearly 6 weeks since my operation and my period has still not returned. The obstetrician told me it would take 4 to 6 weeks but I’ve also heard of other women having to wait 9 and 12 weeks and even 6 months. This is not an option for me.
The other annoying fact is I’m still having cramps, headaches, pains in my breast and nausea. After all this time, I’m getting over that too. I think I’ve been through enough emotional pain so I don’t need a constant physical reminder of what I’ve been through.
The pains were getting so bad I went to my GP yesterday. He thinks it’s just my hormones STILL sorting themselves out and has put me on Primolut – a progesterone drug to balance out the hormones and induce my period. I need to take two pills a day for 10 days and then my period will come back about 3 to 4 days after that.
I know I’ve previously said that I was dreading getting my periods back – that it would be the final slap in the face. But now I want them to come back. I’m ready to get back to trying but the absence of my period means that isn’t possible. So onto the medication I go.
The obstetrician told me if I was 30 years old he would have just told me to wait until they came back but given I’m 37, there was no time to wait. He said that he might put me on Clomid to aid my ovulation as some women can experience infertility issues after a miscarriage. I know a lot of women who go onto having children after a miscarriage, but it can be a difficult process. So I’m keen to get the process started as soon as possible.
I spoke to a friend who had her baby on Clomid. She said her obstetrician made her have it one cycle on, one cycle off. She fell pregnant on the third cycle which meant it took her 6 months. I had a little inner-tantrum when I heard that. Impatience, once again, getting the better of me! I’m just so frustrated that it seems to be taking so long to recover but I quickly got over it, realising I need to respect the fact my body needs to heal as much as my mind does.
I have been enormously buoyed by all the fabulous comments I received on my Facebook post. I got so much support and so many friends told me their inspirational stories that now I’m really motivated to keep moving forward. It makes me feel silly that I spent so much of my first pregnancy worrying about my age. I think that was a big contributor to constantly thinking I would miscarry. Now, I see so many of my friends who have had babies at my age with no problems at all, and I see so many friends older than me who have also had no problems.
So I’m in a much more positive frame of mind. I’ve learnt so much from my first experience and now feel confident I can handle another pregnancy and have a successful outcome. As one of my friends said, “Babies don’t often come easy” and it’s true – they don’t! So many of my friends can attest to that. But they can also attest to the benefits of not giving up so now I’m ready to stare the negativity in the face and yell BRING IT ON!

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