Throwing caution to the wind

This week one of my closet friends told me she was pregnant. It's funny how one piece of good news can raise you out of your slump!

Looking for a lift

One of the things I’m trying to be very conscious of as I make my way through the depression journey, is making sure I speak to people about how I’m feeling. The challenge is finding those who are strong enough to lift me and listen with open ears. 

5am tears

Ahh depression – there’s never a dull moment. From the highs of reaching third trimester yesterday, to waking up in tears at 5am this morning. You just never know when the joy is going to hit you.

Third Trimester - A marvelous Monday!

Today represents two major milestones - I am officially in my 3rd trimester and Sticky is now deemed "viable." It's a Marvelous Monday indeed.

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all. What's fabulous about today is letting go.

Finding the peaceful path

Yesterday, a friend messaged me on Facebook telling me about the craziness that was happening in her life at the moment. She said “I’m just trying to find a peaceful path through it.” Those words really resonated with me. At the end of the day, that’s all any of us can do.

Obstacles to being happy

Yesterday I was talking about the obstacles I face to feeling happy – and they’re rather large as I haven’t been able to shake it. The biggest is how do you reconcile the fact that as one of your most beloved people in the world enters the world, another will leave it?

Deciphering depression Part 2 - It's ok to be happy and excited

One of the questions you’re constantly asked through pregnancy is “Is this your first baby?” I always say yes but everytime I do, I feel it chip away a little at my soul because of course, it isn’t. The sad thing is, I didn’t realise the impact this was having on me until my good friend pre-natal depression decided to visit.

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all. What's fabulous about today is what's meant to be one of the simplest and purest things in the world - a woman I know had a baby!

National Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day

Yesterday was National Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day. I only realised this when I checked Facebook last night and saw all the beautiful posts from my friends who were remembering their lost babies. I posted this photo in tribute to my own lost babies.

We have a name!

So, it’s official – Sticky has a name. Only a first name at this point but I guess that’s the most important one.

The death of the baby shower

25 weeks – Sticky now weighs about 700 grams and is about 35 centimetres long. I can’t believe that something that long is growing inside of me. But, the strangest thought is she could easily grow another 15 to 20 cms before she pops out!

Fabulous Friday

Today I celebrate the fabulousness of friendship. I’ve been feeling disconnected from my friends over the past few weeks and this week they reminded me of how valued and treasured they are.

Pre-natal depression - the gift that keeps on taking

Yesterday, I commented on how in my previous life I was a physically stable person. I was an emotionally stable person too. I am no longer.

Deciphering depression

One of the most frustrating things about battling depression is how it turns your brain into total a mess. I liken it to the moment you pull out the Xmas tree lights, ready to decorate the tree, only to find they are a jumbled mess that you have to painstakingly untangle.

24 weeks and counting!

So I am now 24 weeks. As you can see, I’m still not showing a huge amount but we’re slowly but surely getting there. Clearly, there is a lot of room to grow!

Happy Birthday Peanut

Today is Peanut's 1st birthday. That's how I choose to remember it. My options are clear - either remember today as a day of loss or a day of birth. I choose the later.

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all! It's been a day of highs and lows but a strangely fabulous one overall!

Pregnancy frustrations

As this pregnancy progresses, there are a few things I’m really starting to get over. They are the frustrations that can add seconds, which add up to minutes, which add up to hours of your life over your 40 week confinement. Then, there are just the stupid things people say that make you want to punch them in the face. Here are my gripes.

Wriggly baby

Now that Sticky’s movement has become more consistent, I’m starting to notice she has a routine. It’s quite funny as I start to note the different locations she likes and things that impact her. She’s already starting to show her personality!