Tuesday, 24 September 2013

20 ways to be a good Mother

Yesterday’s post got me thinking about the mistakes I’m already making as a Mother. It was a rude wake up call to a few things I need to get sorted before Sticky arrives. So, in thinking about that, I’ve come with my list of 20 ways to be a good Mother.

I’ve put this list together from all the experiences I’ve had with my Mother and Grandmothers, seeing friends’ relationships with their Mothers and just common sense. It seems so easy when you look at it written down like this but so many Mothers get it so wrong. Some are totally oblivious to the fact they are and others do it on purpose.

I have no doubt that there will be times I will make mistakes. But, I’m hoping that by staying mindful of the kind of Mother I want to be, the values I want to model as a Mother and the kind of relationship I want to build with my daughter, will help me keep any mistakes to a minimum.

1.    Deal with your issues, shortcomings and weaknesses so you don't pass them on to your children.

2.    Love the Father of your child – your child deserves to form their own relationship with him untainted by your views and whatever the state of your relationship with him, he at least did one thing right when he helped you create this miracle.

3.    Treat your child with the respect and love it deserves - mentally, physically and emotionally.

4.    Speak to your child with the respect and love it deserves – take your own advice and if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it. Everytime you say something unloving to your child you chip away a piece of their soul.

5.    Give your child the unconditional love, freedom and acceptance to be and become who they truly are. Let them be themselves, not who YOU want them to be.

6.    Help your child build confidence in themselves, their lives and their capabilities.

7.    Don't spoil your child with things to make up for your guilt - its quality not quantity.

8.    Teach your child boundaries.

9.    Teach your child manners -  it will get them everywhere.

10.  Encourage your child to be brave and to embrace failure.

11.  Find out what your child's passion is and encourage it -  don't force your passions onto them.

12.  Delete any expectations you have - hopes and dreams are one thing but your child will constantly be a failure in your eyes everytime they don't meet your expectations.

13.  Support your child no matter what their decisions are - their decisions are about them, not you. Let them make their own mistakes because it’s the only way they will learn.

14.  Teach your child how to love - be it nature, animals, humans or life and help them appreciate all the little things in life.

15.  Teach your child to be financially responsible – you want them to be independent, not reliant on you.

16.  Never forget how lucky you are to have this child in your life. You so easily could have lost them along the way and you get to experience the joy of Motherhood when so many others don’t. Don’t ever take it for granted.

17.  You don’t automatically get love and respect because you are the Mother – to get love and respect you have to give it.

18.  Don’t underestimate the importance of your role – every minute of every day you are shaping your child and creating their memories. Create memories they will love and cherish, not ones they will spend years trying to forget.

19.  You are your child’s role model – be the kind of person you want them to become.

20.  Love and cherish your child. It’s not rocket science! 

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