Friday, 17 January 2014

Fabulous Friday

Happy Fabulous Friday all! What's fabulous about today is this is my last FF post before Sticky arrives! How did we get here so quickly?
I'm surprised at how quickly this week has gone. Sitting at home, I thought it would drag on and on but Friday seems to have popped up all of a sudden. It's been a good week and I've made the most of the last of my free time. I caught up with a friend, took myself out for coffee and snuck in a last movie. I've also given myself plenty of time to just sit and chill. 

I thought I would feel really anxious this week and had prepared myself for some anxiety attacks but that hasn't materialized. I made the mistake of watching the last 5 minutes of One Born Every Minute yesterday which includes the birth of all the babies. I burst into tears and sobbed for about an hour later. I think it was just a release of anxiety so that has been my only real meltdown all week.

There are a lot of emotions and thoughts running through my head. Mostly, I'm excited and looking forward to meeting my little monkey. But, there is also the reality of the enormity of what is about to happen. I know I've accepted it as much as I can. There are just some things that happen in life that you have no idea about until they happen. This is one of those things.

I'm also a little dumbfounded of how I have ended up married with a baby on the way. It was only 4 yours ago that I accepted this may not be part of my life journey. At 34, time was running out to achieve these things so rather than being depressed about it, I accepted it as a possibility and got on with my life. Of course, as soon as I did that, my husband turned up!

You'd think I would have learnt by now that the universe will unfold the way it is meant to and my job is just to stand out of the way and let it happen. If anything, this pregnancy has definitely reminded me of that. I'm glad because I think it will be important in motherhood. I realise the best thing I can do as a parent is not have plans or expectations of my daughter and just be prepared to figure things out together. I know what kind of mother I want to be, and things I want to achieve, but I won't put pressure on myself and ensure there is room for Sticky to guide me.

So, overall, I'm feeling quite calm about Monday. Sticky has been kicking and dancing up a storm this week so I'm taking it as a sign she's ready. So much for this running out of room business - she's clearly making the most of her last few days in her private spa so I think we are both ready to get this new journey started. It reminds me of what I said to my husband in my wedding speech - we are brave explorers going into new and in unchartered territories. We will no doubt get some scrapes and bruises along the way, but there will be times when the stars shine so brightly it will bring a tear to our eye and the beauty around us will be amazing. Thank you for taking this journey with me. 

I know whatever happens, this brave new territory we are about to enter will be wonderful because we will be there together!

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