How much does it cost to fall pregnant?

After my recent splurge on pregnancy tests, I've been wondering how much the pregnancy business is worth these days? I know the weight loss industry is a multi-billion dollar industry but surely the baby industry is too. I’ve done a quick calculation of what it has cost me so far and it’s starting to add up!

The cruelty of a false positive pregnancy test

For those who may have missed it, I did a pregnancy test on Sunday which came up positive. This was slightly exciting given I used the same test just two days before and got a negative. My hope was short lived though as my period turned up the next day. So this leads me to question what creates a false positive?

Reaching a milestone - my 100th post!

On the 28^th April 2012 I started this little blog - Maybe Having A Baby (MHAB). Originally, it was meant to be about the trials and tribulations of trying to have a baby in my late 30s. I could never have imagined the journey I would take but at least it hasn’t been boring!

Settling in for the long haul

After feeling like I had been struggling the past few days, I decided to be proactive and message a good friend of mine. She very generously shared her experience of miscarriage with me when she heard about mine. I was so glad she did as it gave me someone else to talk to.

Buckling under the strain

And bam! All of a sudden I was back in the angry stage of grief. It hit me like a tonne of bricks and I collapsed under the strain of everything this week had delivered.

10 things to cheer you up when trying to conceive gets hard

After feeling a bit down yesterday, I undertook some research to find some things that would cheer me up and keep me motivated on this journey. If you're anything like me, you'll have your share of ups and downs as you face the challenges trying to conceive can bring. In my downest of down moments, I try to remember to keep my sense of humour about the whole thing! Bookmark this one so you can always refer back to it for an extra little pick me up! 

Handling the triggers after loosing a baby

As I sat on the train this morning, a woman got on with her 2 year old in a pram. I overheard her say to someone it was his first train ride. I looked at him and noticed the look on his face was a mixture of fear, excitement and joy as he embarked on this great adventure. He looked around noting all the lights, sounds and people around him. Suddenly, he yelled out “toot toot” and a huge smile spread across his face. As he sat there revelling in his new experience, I sat there willing my tears not to stream down my face.

The plight of a down syndrome baby

As a woman in her late 30’s trying to fall pregnant, I’ve always been aware of the risks of having a later pregnancy. They are numerous and varied, but to be honest, down syndrome has always been the one most present in my mind. I remember as a child teasing a down syndrome boy who use to catch my bus. Of course, as an adult, I would stand up to such things now, but as a 13 year old, I succumbed to the mob mentality. But knowing how I treated that boy, I wonder if I could face the prospect of having a baby if it had the extra 21^st chromosome?

Who's going to look after the baby?

An alarming article in the weekend’s paper said some parents are waiting up to 2 years for places as child care centres scrap baby places. A new survey reveals 3 out of 4 long-day centres in Australia’s capital cities do not have baby vacancies and two-thirds don’t have any toddler vacancies. As a former nanny, perhaps the time is right to return to my previous occupation and make a motsa!

Is it acceptable to breastfeed in public?

A few days ago, a woman supposedly caused a public outrage when she openly breast feed her 11 month old daughter at a public swimming pool. She refused to cover up and was forced to leave the pool, which violated all state and federal laws that are meant to protect against discrimination on this issue. The story has become a hot potato in the news world, sparking heated debate on both sides of the fence. So again, the question is asked is it acceptable to breast feed in public?

Facing the inevitable

2013 is a year of possibilities – none of us know what will happen! There will no doubt be good and bad times, laughs and tears, joy and pain. I have no idea what will create those moments, but the one thing I do know is I will have to survive May 23 2013 – the day my baby was due.

Things to never say to a woman who has lost a baby

I’ve been truly amazed and inspired by the “sisterhood” that is women who have lost babies. We are a non-judgemental group – people don’t care if you miscarried at 5 weeks or 12 weeks, had a still born at 20 weeks or 39 weeks or lost your baby at 3 weeks old. We all recognise that we are experiencing the same pain, the same grief, the same loss and the same yearning. I guess we band together because we are the only ones who know how each other feels. We know that our family and friends can empathise and sympathise with us, but they will never understand what it’s like to walk in our shoes.

Sole salvation

Yes, this a picture of my sneakers - and my legs for that matter! I realise this is a strange photo to post, but I credit my recent positivity and good frame of mind to these shoes. I believe these soles have provided me salvation!

Getting off the pregnancy roller coaster

I've noticed there has recently been a significant increase in women posting the same question on the forums I read - How early can I do a pregnancy test? The good tests can detect a pregnancy from 5 days before your period is due. However, I have learnt the hard way that testing that early, or even earlier, is just like buying a ticket for a roller coaster! 

The trouble with talking to friends

Through my pregnancy, and my miscarriage, I relied heavily on a small group of close friends for ongoing support. While I was pregnant, I had mothers I could ask for advice and friends to share my excitement. After the miscarriage, they were still mothers I could ask for advice, but became friends who could share my pain. Not from knowing the pain themselves, but just caring enough to listen, offer a hug and tell me everything would be ok. But if you believe British philosopher Alain de Botton, "The problem with sharing one's crises with friends is you move on and they consider you a patient for eternity." 

What is the perfect age to have babies?

I read an article in the paper yesterday talking about the best age to have a baby. It seems it’s 34 – but that depends on who you ask!

How far are we prepared to go to reach our dreams?

I came across this woman's amazing story of determination on my forum over the weekend. Basically, she had one child, 8 miscarriages, another child, 2 miscarriages and is now pregnant with her 13th pregnancy. It made me wonder, how much are we prepared to put ourselves through to achieve our dreams?

Pill popping - the homeopathic fertility program

I had my eagerly awaited visit to the homeopath yesterday to start my fertility program. It's a good thing that I've realised there are no delicacies when trying to fall pregnant as our 2 hour meeting required me sharing all the indepth details of my sex life and bodily functions! The picture above shows all the remedies I came away with. While you may count 8, there were actually 9 but I've consumed one already! It's surprising to know they all have a very specific role to play in getting me pregnant!

Feeling deflated

This photo sums up how I’m feeling today – flat, deflated, low on air and a little beat up! It’s funny that I started out this week so excited and positive, but now, I feel like a husk!

Tornado scars

I was so excited to get home yesterday to find a package in the post box. My copy of “There was supposed to be a baby” by Catherine Keating had finally arrived! A blog reader told me about this book so I decided to check it out. I’m already half way through and must extend my thanks to you Jackie for the recommendation! I’ll reserve my review until I’ve finished it but there were some initial thoughts I wanted to share.

Releasing the safety net

When I first started this baby journey I posted about the Big If – the trap we fall into when we say “if we have kids” rather than “when we have kids.” I felt it was a rather pessimistic view to take – basically saying to yourself we “might” have kids, rather than we “will”! I had to make a conscious effort to change my language but I did and felt more positive as a result. However, I’ve noticed I’ve slipped into old habits!

The Top 10 Baby Names for 2012!

Queensland’s Top 10 Baby Names for 2012 are in. Have a guess what cracked number one? You may be surprised to know it wasn’t Americus for a girl or Exodus for a boy. But don’t laugh, those were in the list for the Weirdest Names of 2012!

Kick starting the baby dream

Moving full steam ahead from my mantra, I’ve decided to take a proactive approach and get this baby thing happening. First stop is the homeopath to try the Liz Lalor Fertility Program. At this point in time, I figure I have nothing to lose!

A mantra for 2013

2013 is only 6 days old but I already feel like I'm struggling. No doubt, the fact I have to go back to work tomorrow has something to do with it. I've been having nausea for a few days now, which got so bad I did a pregnancy test! Alas, it was negative, but an indication something is not right. 

I thought I was stressed about going back to work, and having nothing to do. I realised that I'm actually stressed about having to go back to work and see the two pregnant women who will no doubt have increased in size dramatically in the 2.5 weeks I've had off. It's hard to face, so I decided I needed to get my head in a good space, so created a mantra for 2013 that I will use to keep myself on track!

Searching for fertility answers

I was reading my latest copy of Practical Parenting Magazine and came across a story on online fertility reports. Basically, you enter all your information and it spits out a 33 page report on all things you. It was quite an interesting read!

An important lesson to learn

I learnt an important lesson today - don't go to the post-Christmas sales when you're feeling tiered and emotional! I know I've written about seeing babies everywhere before, but it's an entirely different scenario when you're still grieving over the loss of a baby!

The story of one little sperm

A friend called me today to share her frustration at not being pregnant. It’s the frustration all women feel when they’ve been trying for a while because each month it gets a little bit harder. We can become consumed by our yearning to feel a child growing inside us, and depressed at the absence of said child. We put ourselves on the “baby mouse wheel” where each month we try, we wait, we get the result and we try again. It’s a process that can play havoc with our minds because it creates feelings of want, need, desperation, emptiness, failure and heart ache.

Proud to be a parent

I well and truly kicked 2012 to the kerb. In doing so, I kicked myself to the kerb too. Today was a very slow day as I nursed my hangover. I took myself on a walk to atone for my drinking sins. I noticed people laughing, smiling, playing games and just lazing about. Everyone looked so carefree – like the weight of the past 365 days had suddenly been lifted off their shoulders. I guess that’s the joy of January 1st every year – you wake up hopeful that this year will be better than the last!