Bumping baby

While we seemed to have settled back in at home after our week away, Sticky has had some problems readjusting to her cot. She's taken to bumping into it and getting stuck. She ends up in pain and I wake to a screaming baby. Something had to be done.

I woke up yesterday shattered. Sticky had managed to get herself stuck in the cot several times so I had to wake up to pull her out. After the fourth time, I didn't really go back to sleep. It became my mission to concoct some kind or barrier to stop her hurting herself.

First stop was Google. I knew I needed some kind of bumper but I know they are a big no no when it comes to SIDS. I found breathable mesh ones but they had ties on them which is what makes them dangerous because babies can choke on them. I called my Mum to see if there was someway we could make something. Surely we could devise something with our sewing skills. I told her I'd take the dimensions and send her a photo.

In the meantime, I was too brain dead to conceptualise anything so thought the next best thing would be to get her a thicker sleeping bag which might stop her from rolling over. I hoped a heavier one would make it difficult for her to roll so I went off to search for one.

As I was walking around the shops frustrated they didn't have what I wanted, my mum called to say she had found a bumper at a baby shop. It was breathable mesh but did up with Velcro so could be a winner.

I went straight to the baby shop and found it. It wasn't made for my cot as mine has solid ends and this one is for ones with bars on all sides. But, we just wrapped it around the ends which I think works better because it can't collapse on her.

As I put her in bed last night, I felt very uneasy about using the bumper. I was torn between having some protection for her and using something that I know was the biggest no no in terms of safe sleeping. But, what could I do? Let my daughter continue to hurt herself, or go with the safest possible option I could find? I had no choice but it didn't stop me from lying in bed crying.

I woke up a few times during the night as the cot rattles when she crashes into it. I could make out a little foot sticking against the mesh so it was clearly doing its job. I went back to sleep feeling a bit more peaceful about it. 

The next time I woke up was to her crying. She had rolled over into the mesh and her face was pushing against it. It wasn't smothering her but I guess she felt a pressure on her face and didn't like it. I did not feel peaceful about that!

I told a friend about it today who reassured me I was doing the right thing as her friend's baby broke their arm getting it stuck in cot bars. I know a broken arm isn't as bad as a potential choking hazard but I'd prefer neither of them to occur. 

Maybe I'll feel better about it once we've had some successful sleep nights with it. Given Sticky will be in the cot for at least another 1.5 years, and she hasn't started properly rolling yet, there is a lot of damage she could do to herself. And that's a long time for me to spend constantly untangling her. I can only trust I've made an informed decision that's in hers and mine best interest. All I can do is check it every night and pray to the baby gods to keep her safe. Here's hoping they hear me!