Thursday, 18 April 2013

Choosing my super hero powers

I’m currently considering one of the great quandaries of life – if I was a super hero, what would I want my power to be? There are so many great super hero powers it’s hard to choose. But I think I’ve narrowed it down to a few choices.

Invisibility – There are times I wish I could be invisible. I could just walk among you all and you wouldn’t even know I was there. I’d just be the slight breeze that whisks over the hair of your arms as I pass you by. I could hide when I didn’t want to be seen anymore and I needed to protect myself. In real life, I can achieve this by pulling my blanket up over my head and staying in bed, but this doesn’t help me during the day!

Flying – There are times I wish I could fly away. When everything becomes too much, and the weight of world is bearing down on me, it would be great just to say See you later and shoot up into the sky. I could fly to Hawaii and just sip pina coladas on the beach until I was ready to rejoin my life again. In real life, I can achieve this by getting on a plane. In 5 weeks, I’ll be doing this – sitting on a beach escaping my life. Trying to escape the fact that my baby would have been born. I think I’ll succeed in escaping my life but I don’t hold out much hope for escaping my mind.

Forgetting – There are times I wish I had a magic flash that would automatically erase parts of my memory. Just the bits I want to forget of course. But how wonderful would it be to live in such na├»vity of all the things that have happened to cause you such pain. Imagine the freedom we would have if we weren’t limited by our memories and our pain. But, I guess it would also mean we are not the people we are. I think of it as living like you’ve had a lobotomy. I know we need the pain to appreciate the pleasure. I know we need to make mistakes as that’s how we grow. But sometimes, I could really do without it.

Hidden identity – There are times I wish I had a mask, so whenever I put it on, I became a different person. Like an alter-ego who had an entirely different life. I’d be suddenly transformed to a happy and carefree person. Someone whose heart was unscathed, instead of someone whose heart bore the scars of many battles. In real life, I do wear a mask. The minute I walk out the door in the morning, I’m not the person who cried myself to sleep the night before, I’m the person who sits at their desk all day and acts like a functioning adult.  I’m not the person who suffered a miscarriage 6 months ago, I’m the person who gives you morning sickness tips.   

Force field – There are times I wish I could instantly put up a force field whenever danger was heading my way. I would have ninja reflexes so I could activate it just before it hits. I would stand there in my bubble and watch the danger fly over me, safely protected inside. I could keep out all the pain, hurt and suffering. In real life, I guess that’s called reaction – it’s not the cards you were dealt, it’s how you play your hand. It’s about finding your own self defence mechanisms so you are protected when danger strikes. Harder said then done.

When I read back on this, I realise I already have these super powers. Maybe I just need to start applying them from a super hero mindset. Maybe I need to start channelling Wonder Woman and think of myself wearing a red boob tube, blue knickers and red knee high boots, with my arms bent and hands on my hips. Maybe I need to start practicing the steely look she had on her face whenever she was about to kick someone’s ass. I guess we all have the power to be Wonder Woman if we choose. We just have to do it wearing our own clothes, owning our own identity and using our own powers. 

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