Tuesday, 16 July 2013

The ongoing 2 week wait

Ever since I found out I was pregnant, my life has unfolded in two week chunks. Tomorrow is my 12 week scan, than in two weeks I’ll see the obstetrician again. And that will be it. From then, my life will unfold in four week chunks until November. It doesn’t sound like much but I fear moving from two to four weeks will require a significant adjustment.

I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks. I had my first and second scans at 6 and 8 weeks. I met the obstetrician and had my third scan at 10 weeks. I am now preparing for the big 12 week scan tomorrow. I know I’ve been very lucky to see Sticky every two weeks and know how rare that is. For someone who’s lost a baby, knowing everything is ok at these short intervals has helped. Mind you, it’s hindered too.

As I’ve mentioned, I do have a tendency to get very nervous before each scan and tomorrow’s is no different. I’ve been taking deep breaths and repeating my affirmations. I’m hoping my current level of exhaustion means I will sleep well tonight rather than toss and turn worrying about it. Deep down I know it’s all ok but I struggle to convince myself of it.

Given the ongoing aches and pains, nausea and exhaustion, I’m expecting to see a gigantic baby in there dancing and wriggling around. Surely all the discomfort I’ve been feeling is an indication Sticky is growing big and strong. At least that's what I'm hoping. 

I am nervous about our down syndrome and other test results. My brother stayed with us on the weekend and asked what a good number would be. I told him I’ll be happy if our risk is 1:500 and ecstatic if it’s anything over 1:1000. He’s nervous and would like it to be 1:20,000. Given we start at 1:120 just because of my age, I think we’ll be doing well if we get to 1000. I know there’s no point guessing it, it will be what it will be.

I think my brother is nervous because he’s in love with Sticky too. He told me him and my other brother had bought Sticky a baby membership for our local rugby team – the Broncos. The baby isn’t even born yet and it’s already a “Baby Bronco.” They had to give the baby a name for the membership so called it Jeff Junior – or Jeff Ju for short. Jeff is my husband’s name so he loved it so much he thinks we should call him that. I think not!

I keep telling my brothers they need to be prepared for a girl but they’re not having a bar of it. They’re convinced Sticky is a boy but I think they’re in for a rude surprise. Either way, I’m happy because if Sticky is a girl, she can watch and cheer on the Broncos. After my brothers gave me a black eye playing rugby with them, I don’t think I’ll let her play, but I might let them take her to a game or two. If this is the only niece or nephew they get, I understand I’ll need to make some compromises with them. But one thing I will not compromise is calling any son of mine Jeff Junior!  

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