Remembering Peanut

I planted these flowers a few months ago in honour of Peanut. Normally, I don’t like yellow. Actually I hate yellow. I’m not even sure why I chose yellow. Maybe it was because this was the brightest colour and I wanted them to stand out from everything else in my garden.

I planted 6 of these flowers around my garden. When I did, they only had 3 buds on them. Now, thanks to all the rain we’ve had, they are all blooming! This particular plant is right outside our front door. As I walk through the front gate every morning, I turn around to see it sparkling in the sunshine. I then look across the whole garden and see all these little bursts of colour spread among the red, pinks, purple and whites of the rest of the garden. It makes me remember Peanut and I smile.

As Peanut’s “would have been birthday” looms closer, I’m focussed on doing everything I can to remember. It seems silly to say that – as if I can ever forget. But I’m becoming a little obsessed with doing some grandiose gesture to mark Peanut’s birthday.  I’m considering getting a tattoo but when I mentioned this to my husband this morning he just scrunched up his face and told me he didn’t like them. This is despite the fact I already have one! I don’t need his permission to do it, but I understand he doesn’t get why I’m even thinking about it.  I read this beautiful post today from a woman who lost her child and love the necklace she got made. But I wonder if I might look a bit strange with the word “Peanut” around my neck!

The yearning to do something more significant than just planting flowers has been haunting me for some time now. The fact it won’t go away means it’s something I need to do. So it remains a project in construction. I know divine inspiration will hit me at some stage – perhaps it will come straight from Peanut. In the meantime, I’m more than happy to look at my beautiful flowers and remember my precious gift.