Monday, 11 March 2013

The blood tests begin

I had my first blood test today. I feel a bit blah about the whole thing. I don’t know why. But I have a feeling that come the end of the week, my arm will either look like I’ve become a heroin addict, or Dracula has decided I’m his new favourite dessert!

I’ m glad to be having the tests this week as I’ve realised we probably missed my ovulation days last month. Given I can’t seem to get a positive ovulation test, I really don’t have anything to guide me as to when I ovulate, other than just having a guess. My last 3 cycles have been 32, 32 and 29 days. While the doctor thinks that is a “regular” cycle, it’s not really as it means I could ovulate on day 18, day 15 or anywhere in between. That’s a big enough window to miss it all together so on the bright side, the blood tests will tell me when the big day is!

To be honest, I think I’m just feeling a little depressed about the whole situation. At 7am, I walked into the fertility clinic. I was surrounded by 3 other women who were all there for the same reason. I was called into the office, sat in the chair, and extended my right arm. The nurse came over and stuck the needle in. No nice little “You’ll just feel a slight sting,” or anything else comforting – I was just stabbed.  It felt like I was on a conveyor belt – just the next woman who needed her blood tested today.

My husband and I sat outside the clinic and had some breakfast. I watched other women walk in and  walk out with a cotton bud and some medical tape on their arm – another victim set free. It became so glaringly clear to me that infertility doesn’t discriminate – there was tall women, short women, slim women, larger women, young women, older women and women from a variety of cultures. I don’t know why I didn’t notice this before – probably because this is the first time I’ve had to have my test down within the “testing hour.”

The daily process is as follows:
  1. 1Have your blood test taken between 7am and 8:30am.
  2. 2Call doctor between 1pm and 2pm.
  3. 3Do what doctor tells you.

I was told to get another test tomorrow  as I hadn’t yet ovulated. I didn’t expect I had – I expected my levels would be so low they would tell me to take a day off and come back on Wednesday. Who knows though – maybe this cycle will be shorter so I’ll ovulate on day 14!

I think today opened my eyes to the reality of my situation. For the next few mornings, I will have to walk in, with all the other hopeful women, to see if this is my month to conceive a baby. If it’s not, I will have to repeat it next month, and the month after that and on and on until it happens. I shouldn’t complain – technically, my only infertility problem is I’m not pregnant! I haven’t been diagnosed with any of the myriad of problems that plague other women. The only reason I’m on clomid is to try and speed up the process because my age is starting to get the better of me.

I am thankful for all of those things. It means I can be hopeful that this will happen quickly. What depresses me is the thought I shouldn’t be in this line of women waiting to extend their arm. I already fell pregnant. I already achieved the hardest thing to do and I did it all by myself. Surely that should get me a “get pregnant free” card but it doesn’t. It just gets me a slip that says my blood test cost $56.90.  

Image by Ambro
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