I had my first blood test today. I feel a bit blah about the
whole thing. I don’t know why. But I have a feeling that come the end of
the week, my arm will either look like I’ve become a heroin addict, or Dracula
has decided I’m his new favourite dessert!
I’ m glad to be having the tests this week as I’ve realised
we probably missed my ovulation days last month. Given I can’t seem to get a
positive ovulation test, I really don’t have anything to guide me as to when I ovulate,
other than just having a guess. My last 3 cycles have been 32, 32 and 29 days.
While the doctor thinks that is a “regular” cycle, it’s not really as it means I
could ovulate on day 18, day 15 or anywhere in between. That’s a big enough
window to miss it all together so on the bright side, the blood tests will tell
me when the big day is!
To be honest, I think I’m just feeling a little depressed
about the whole situation. At 7am, I walked into the fertility clinic. I was
surrounded by 3 other women who were all there for the same reason. I was
called into the office, sat in the chair, and extended my right arm. The nurse came
over and stuck the needle in. No nice little “You’ll just feel a slight sting,”
or anything else comforting – I was just stabbed. It felt like I was on a conveyor belt – just the
next woman who needed her blood tested today.
My husband and I sat outside the clinic and had some
breakfast. I watched other women walk in and walk out with a cotton bud and some medical
tape on their arm – another victim set free. It became so glaringly clear to me
that infertility doesn’t discriminate – there was tall women, short women, slim
women, larger women, young women, older women and women from a variety of
cultures. I don’t know why I didn’t notice this before – probably because this
is the first time I’ve had to have my test down within the “testing hour.”
The daily process is as follows:
- 1Have your blood test taken between 7am and 8:30am.
- 2Call doctor between 1pm and 2pm.
- 3Do what doctor tells you.
I was told to get another test tomorrow as I hadn’t yet ovulated. I didn’t expect I
had – I expected my levels would be so low they would tell me to take a day off
and come back on Wednesday. Who knows though – maybe this cycle will be shorter
so I’ll ovulate on day 14!
I think today opened my eyes to the reality of my situation.
For the next few mornings, I will have to walk in, with all the other hopeful
women, to see if this is my month to conceive a baby. If it’s not, I will have
to repeat it next month, and the month after that and on and on until it
happens. I shouldn’t complain – technically, my only infertility problem is I’m
not pregnant! I haven’t been diagnosed with any of the myriad of problems that
plague other women. The only reason I’m on clomid is to try and speed up the
process because my age is starting to get the better of me.
I am thankful for all of those things. It means I can be hopeful
that this will happen quickly. What depresses me is the thought I shouldn’t be
in this line of women waiting to extend their arm. I already fell pregnant. I
already achieved the hardest thing to do and I did it all by myself. Surely
that should get me a “get pregnant free” card but it doesn’t. It just gets me a
slip that says my blood test cost $56.90.
Image by Ambro
Courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net
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